I’m a few days late and don’t have any pictures to share but I wanted to log my reflections on my 34th birthday because I love coming back to this site to track my passage of time.
Here’s what I wrote in my journal the morning of my 34th birthday:
I am here in a zen garden, grateful, at peace, in awe of being an adult who knows myself. I constantly struggle but keep trying to get to this place of ease and quiet, where the self-criticism, other-criticism, to-do lists, unease, hunger for more, doubt and skepticism fade away, if even for just a moment.
I’ve been a mother for two and a half years. What a gift! Harlem shows me the path towards becoming a better person and how to live a better life. It’s not an easy path and the individual days can feel exhausting. But my heart is full of so much more love and joy because of him. I’m so proud of him and proud of myself. I hope life has much more in store for us and that my heart and mind can stay wide open to what ever that experience may be.
This is the 15th birthday I’ll be celebrating with Russell, my husband. He’s been my anchor and support system through all the years. The past few have been challenging on our marriage. I strive to be a better wife and I often fall short. I never want to stop working on our relationship. He is the kindest and wisest soul I know. I want to honor him and raise him up so he knows how special and essential he is to me. Really stop criticizing and trying to control everything. Offer up my friendship in earnest.
I am a yoga teacher. What an amazing year learning. I am in love with the teachings of yoga, it brings clarity and guidance to my life. I’m so grateful to have taken my teacher trainings this past year. They were truly life-changing and put a framework around how I want to live my life. I will cultivate the foundation I need to continue building this life. Practice, meditate, keep learning, let it all seep into my daily actions and interactions.
I have a vision for my life- the kind of mother and wife I want to be, the kind of house I want to live in, how I want to spend my days, the people I want to be around, the travel I want to do, the kind of money I want to make, the kind of gratitude and worship I want to have. It’s all in process, but I want to keep moving towards it, keep collecting the tools I need to achieve my dreams. Meanwhile not forgetting to cherish the current moment. It will all add up.