What a joy to finally be able to share and talk about my pregnancy! Here’s a brief recap on my first trimester.
I began to suspect I was pregnant the first week of August. My morning commute suddenly felt very long and nauseating. I was dead tired all week (but I thought it could’ve also been from dancing to Beyonce and Jay Z so aggressively at the On the Run Tour). Finally on 8/10, on the eve of our 3-year anniversary, a home pregnancy test confirmed that Russell and I were indeed on our way to becoming parents. The first ultrasound was surreal. I got to hear the heartbeat, which was amazing and a relief. But the thing that the nurse was pointing to as my baby, sure didn’t look like a baby, more like a tadpole or a mini whale. Just two weeks later, the baby was starting to look a little more human-shaped. We kept the news to ourselves for a while. Because of my miscarriage before, I was much more cautious. I was having dark and disturbing nightmares of losing or killing babies. I was constantly on alert for signs of miscarriage. But one thing I let myself enjoy was posting the photo of the ultrasound on our fridge. I was so happy to see it every morning. It’s a thrilling feeling to know that there’s a little person living and growing inside of me.I started showing just a little bit at around 11 weeks. I didn’t experience any severe morning sickness, just a slight tinge of nausea that was eased by eating. But I was exhausted all the time. I hit a wall at 2:30 everyday and it was a struggle to stay motivated at work for the rest of the afternoon. I’m always reminding myself to enjoy and appreciate this special time being pregnant. I love going to prenatal yoga where the teacher encourages us to consider these next months as the most powerful year of self-transformation. I’m trying hard to listen to my body. I’ve slowed down- sleeping on weekends instead of making social plans, and taking a step back from my usual work-out routine. I’m craving fruits and vegetables, ice cream, pho noodles and Korean kimchijigae. I really miss coffee and wine. At the 13-week ultrasound, Satski was looking like a real baby, kicking and moving around, even yawning at one point. What a little miracle!